Denny Strecker’s Blog

“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”

– Winston Churchill

This is a great quote I came across in my adventures. Time and time again it is amazing to see and hear what people think about different situations. People find it easy to be negative and find the “bad” in everything. It is odd to me that people really look to make themselves unhappy. Some people even thrive on making themselves the martyr. What a sad way to go through life.

Our theme last week in class was “Happiness”. We spent the week teaching the children that it is your choice to be happy or to be sad. It was a great lesson for the kids - my hope is that a lot of the parents listened and started to understand what we were talking about. Here are some things I have heard lately that are easily turned from negative to positve:

# 1 - “I HAVE to go to work.” Easily can be “I GET to go to work.”

# 2 - “I CAN”T do that.” Easily can be “I am working on improving that.”

# 3 - “I am bad at math.” Easily can be “I am great at Language Arts.”

The list is endless.

Make it your mission to be the most positive person you know. The biggest challenge is to avoid getting pulled in by all of the negative people around you. Make it a point to minimize the time you spend around negative people - they are contagious!

One of the rules we have in our school is,
“Leave your negative attitude at the door. You can pick it up on your way out if you want.”

Simply put, we tell the students that we only want to work with happy people. If you are going to choose to have a negative attitude, then go some place else. We don’t want it.

By Lee Colan, Ph.D.

The building blocks of our excellence are moments…literally. Defining moments, that is.

Nobel Prize winning scientist Daniel Kahneman asserts that we experience thousands of individual moments every waking day. These “moments” last only a few seconds. If you consider your strongest memories, positive or negative, you’ll notice the imagery in your mind is actually defined by your recollection of a precise point in time.

In some cases, a single encounter can change your life forever. Think of your own defining moments. Are they literally moments?

Defining moments might be positive or negative, but either way, we are never the same after experiencing one. These moments shape who we are and who we will become. As Mufasa, the Lion King himself, said to his son, Simba, from the heavens, “You are more than you have become.” These few words created a positive defining moment for Simba to start acting like the king he was.

Fantasy or reality, it works the same. So let’s look at reality.

We might be defined by a word of encouragement from a colleague or, just as likely, from a word of discouragement. We might be defined by a moment of glorious victory or one of horrendous failure. We might also be defined by a moment of perfect intuition or one where our best judgment was ultimately found faulty. Or perhaps the moment we commit ourselves to a goal or the moment we decide to go another direction.

We could also be defined by the moment when we decide to make our family’s experience different than the one we grew up with, or the moment we experience a positive example and decide to model it. Or we may be defined by the moment a boss lets us know he believes in us, or even the moment of honest self-reflection that triggers us to change.

Defining moments, indirectly or directly, create a new direction or perspective for us. Consider runner Georgene Johnson. She got to the starting line of a weekend race 15 minutes early. It was a mistake in timing that became a defining moment in her life.

The 42-year-old secretary had registered to run in a 10 kilometer/6.2 mile race that Sunday. The race started at 8:45 a.m. There was also a marathon scheduled to begin 15 minutes earlier. Both races used the same starting line.

Georgene took off at the sound of the starting gun. Four miles down the road, as the race route took the runners out of downtown and into residential areas, Johnson said she experienced a sick feeling that she was possibly in the wrong race. A few minutes later, another runner confirmed her suspicions.

Instead of stopping and retracing her steps, she joined about 4,000 runners taking part in the Revco-Cleveland Marathon. Rather than quit, she decided to keep going (no doubt a defining moment!) and hung on to finish her first 26-mile race.

“As stupid as I felt out there running, I’m proud of myself,” Johnson said after the race. “I guess I was in better shape than I thought. I feel fine.”

Johnson finished the 26-mile marathon in four hours and four minutes, good enough for 83rd place in the women’s division – definitely qualifying as one of her life’s defining moments. Why? Until that time, her longest run was eight miles.

Like Johnson, we each experience our own defining moments on the road to excellence.

It is important to be aware of our defining moments. They make us who we are. Additionally, we have the opportunity to create defining moments for those around us every day. In fact, the pathway to excellence is paved with these moments – positive defining moments we create for others.

I remember earlier in my career, I was hungry to advance to an executive leadership position. I thought I was doing all the right stuff, but I wasn’t getting there as fast as I had hoped. So I asked a respected friend and colleague what he thought it would take for me to break through to the next level. He sat quietly and thought for a minute, then with penetrating eye contact he slowly advised, “Well, Lee, from my perspective, you should probably focus more on performing your current role excellently than worrying about your next move.”

It was incredibly valuable and humbling advice - a defining moment for me and my (never ending) journey toward excellence. It taught me that excellence is achieved in the moment, not in the future.

Today is the perfect time to create a positive defining moment for someone important to you. It’s not as hard as it might sound. Take a moment to:

• Say, “I love you.”
• Forgive someone who hurt you.
• Say, “I appreciate you.”
• Reach out to someone.
• Help a friend even though you might feel like you need help.
• Say “I’m sorry.”
• Say, “I love you.” – that’s worth repeating!

Create a positive defining moment for someone in your life. It will be the best gift you could ever give… and receive.

Lee J. Colan, Ph.D., is President of The L Group, Inc., a Dallas, Texas-based consulting firm. He is a high-energy executive advisor, author and leadership expert.

One of my favorite phrases is, “You’ve got to be before you can do and do before you can have.” In short, you have to be a person of character and do the right things, and then you can have the things you really want. To make the “be, do have” theory valid, look at some examples in your own life.

1. Draw two vertical lines to make three columns on a sheet of paper.

2. At the top of the left-hand column, write BE; in the middle column, write DO; and over in the last column, write HAVE.

3. In the right-hand column list all the things you really want in life, whether it’s an education, good family relationships, a beautiful new home, a luxury automobile, a trip around the world, to lose weight–you name it.

4. Work your way down the center column identifying the things that you have to do in order to have the things listed in the right-hand column. As an example, let’s say you want a successful marriage. To do so, you must be willing to share your innermost thoughts and concerns with your mate. You must carry more than your share of the workload, encourage your mate when he or she is down, and defend your mate against criticism. You need to remember special occasions. Be particularly helpful when your mate is having a bad day or is not feeling well, or has had a tough day at work. Apply the philosophy that “you can have everything you want out of this marriage if you just help your mate get what he or she wants.” Everybody’s list varies because each of us has unique needs, beliefs, and interests. However, the formula remains the same.

5. Go to the left-hand column and identify what you have to BE in order to DO so that you can HAVE. To have a successful marriage, some of the things that you must be are faithful, attentive, loving, caring, helpful, empathetic, encouraging, persistent, committed, kind, thoughtful, considerate, and responsible. Not having all these qualities at this moment is okay, because they’re all skills, and skills can be developed.

You can use this basic formula for whatever it is you want to have. Look at what you have to do in order to accomplish your objectives, and then examine yourself and determine what kind of person you have to BE in order to DO so that you can HAVE.

US President Theodore Roosevelt has been described as founder of the Bull Moose Party, the man who led his troops up San Juan Hill in the Spanish-American War, a big game hunter, family man, civic servant and a host of other things.

His life story indicates that he was not only an extraordinarily successful man, but surely one of the busiest and best organized ever. However, with all of his “busy-ness” . . . he still retained some of those human qualities that made him so successful.

Simple example: He never forgot to thank others who did things for him. On his whistle-stop tours during his campaign trips, he always left his private car to thank the engineer and fireman for a safe and comfortable trip. True, it took only a few minutes of his time, but when your minutes are so few, they are quite important. He felt that those minutes were well invested and he enjoyed meeting the people who had served him so well. In the process he made friends for life. Doing simple little things endeared Roosevelt to people all across America, which certainly was a significant reward for the few minutes it took him to say thank you.

Someone once said that you could always tell a “big” man by the way he treated a “little” man. By that yardstick alone you would have to agree that Theodore Roosevelt was a “big” man.

Message: Take time to be kind and to say “thank you.” The returns can be so great that you will be amazed!

By Robin Sharma

What would your life look like if you had absolutely no fear? What kinds of things would you do if you lived from a frame of reference that your thoughts literally could form your world? How brightly would your light shine if you stepped out of the limitations that are keeping you small and stretched yourself well past your comfort zone into the place that you know, deep within, you are meant to be? Authentic leadership is all about being the person you know in your heart you have always been destined to be. Authentic leadership does not come from your title or from the size of your paycheck. Instead, this form of leadership comes from your being and the person that you are.

Here are 10 things that authentic leaders do on a regular basis:

1. They speak their truth. In business today, we frequently ’swallow our truth’. We say things to please others and to look good in front of The Crowd. Authentic leaders are different. They consistently talk truth. They would never betray themselves by using words that are not aligned with who they are. This does not give anyone a license to say things that are hurtful to people. Speaking truth is simply about being clear, being honest and being authentic.

2. They lead from the heart. Business is about people. Leadership is about people. The best leaders wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability. They genuinely care about other people and spend their days developing the people around them. They are like the sun: the sun gives away all it has to the plants and the trees. But in return, the plants and the trees always grow toward the sun.

3. They have rich moral fiber. Who you are speaks far more loudly than anything you could ever say. Strength of character is true power - and people can feel it a mile away. Authentic leaders work on their character.

They walk their talk and are aligned with their core values. They are noble and good. And in doing so, people trust, respect and listen to them.

4. They are courageous. It takes a lot of courage to go against the crowd. It takes a lot of courage to be a visionary. It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right even though it may not be easy. We live in a world where so many people walk the path of least resistance. Authentic leadership is all about taking the road less traveled and doing not what is easy, but what is right.

5. They build teams and create communities. One of the primary things that people are looking for in their work experience is a sense of community. In the old days, we got our community from where we lived. We would have block parties and street picnics. In the new age of work, employees seek their sense of community and connection from the workplace. Authentic leaders create workplaces that foster human linkages and lasting friendships.

6. They deepen themselves. The job of the leader is to go deep. Authentic leaders know themselves intimately. They nurture a strong self-relationship. They know their weaknesses and play to their strengths.

And they always spend a lot of time transcending their fears.

7. They are dreamers. Einstein said that “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” It is from our imaginations that great things are born.

Authentic leaders dare to dream impossible dreams. They see what everyone else sees and then dream up new possibilities. They spend a lot of time with their eyes closed creating blueprints and fantasies that lead to better products, better services, better workplaces and deeper value. How often do you close your eyes and dream?

8. They care for themselves. Taking care of your physical dimension is a sign of self-respect. You can’t do great things at work if you don’t feel good. Authentic leaders eat well, exercise and care for the temples that are their bodies. They spend time in nature, drink plenty of water and get regular massages so that, physically, they are operating at planet-class levels of performance.

9. They commit to excellence rather than perfection. No human being is perfect. Every single one of us is a work in progress. Authentic leaders commit themselves to excellence in everything that they do. They are constantly pushing the envelope and raising their standards. They do not seek perfection and have the wisdom to know the difference. What would your life look like if you raised your standards well beyond what anyone could ever imagine of you?

10. They leave a legacy. To live in the hearts of the people around you is to never die. Success is wonderful but significance is even better. You were made to contribute and to leave a mark on the people around you. In failing to live from this frame of reference, you betray yourself.

Authentic leaders are constantly building their legacies by adding deep value to everyone that they deal with and leaving the world a better place in the process.

By David Mason

Are you one of those people who think that success is only for the gifted? Or better yet, that really successful people are lucky? Or that everything they have today was given to them on a silver spoon?

Here’s the deal — while that may be true in some cases, it would be a very few. Success is not about luck or gifts or handouts. I have been saying for years that “success is based on persistency and consistency, not magic.”

What this means is that success comes from persistently doing those things we choose to do, on a consistent basis. We all have the potential to be more successful, to accomplish more with our lives. It is not so important what you choose; it is that you choose that makes the difference.

We all experience this world, this life, filtered through our own eyes and our own files that we call morals, ethics, principles, and core beliefs. We may experience the same event, but what we saw, heard, or felt will be different for each person. The reason is that we are all individuals. This is what makes the world such an interesting place. The interpretations of events, the opinions, ideas, ideals are all based on individual interpretations of the unfolding of events before us.

Now I could write an entire book on this subject, but that is not my intention here. What I want to establish is that, ultimately, what we experience in life is the result of how we decide or choose to interpret events.

Did you catch that? I said our decision or choice of how to interpret events. You see life is based on decisions or choices. I am sure you have heard one or several of the analogies about the two siblings that experienced some traumatic event in their youth. One grows up to be a criminal and the other a very successful member of society. They grew up so differently because of how they chose to interpret and internalize the event from earlier in life. We, just like the siblings I just mentioned, are all the products of our decisions and choices.

You do want to be successful, don’t you? I’ll give you a hint; it starts with deciding or choosing to be successful.

Now like I said earlier, I don’t think that success is based on magic. So I am not about to tell you that all you have to do to become successful is decide you want to be successful and boom, you will be. I wish that was how it works, but the truth is… it’s not. It takes more than that; it takes work. I hope I didn’t scare you off with the “W” word. But anything worth having is worth working toward.

For example, when I left my career as a Research Biologist to start a business, I didn’t give myself the luxury of failure. You see, close to 90% of small businesses go out of business within the first five years. I was not about to give myself this crutch, that if things didn’t work out I could fall back on that statistic to justify why I didn’t succeed. I put everything I had into making it work. I spent my first year making sure everyone in my industry knew my name and my company name. I wanted and I achieved ‘top of mind’ within my specific area. It was tough in those early years, I mean really tough. But I went on to build a very successful business, I mean really successful. I was able to sell that business for a very respectful amount in that industry, something that others struggle to do.

Walt Disney said, “While the worriers are worrying, the planners are planning, and the accountants are figuring out why we can’t afford it, I’m busy getting it started.” I am sure you would agree that he was an extremely successful person, who knew the value of making the decision to get started and was not afraid of work.

It’s important to understand that success can be learned; we are not born successful, and we know it’s not just for a chosen few.

Any human behavior expert will agree that most people operate at only a small percentage of their true potential. As a result, they realize only a small percentage of their potential success. You’ve probably heard this yourself.

Through personal and professional performance development, it is possible to increase your successes, and in turn, your quality of life.

For instance:

* When you focus on developing and growing your business, your income grows.
* When you work smarter and not harder, you can accomplish more in less time.
* If you have more free time, you can spend it with your family and friends; in turn your relationships blossom.
* Now you can start to focus on your health and fitness, and improvements are not far behind.
* As a result, your self-esteem and your self-confidence will increase.

You can obviously see how this cycle repeats itself and the results start compounding. This is Performance Development.

Toss that around in your head for a bit and you’ll agree with me that by focusing on improvements in one area of your life, you can, and surely will, see improvements in other areas of your life as well.

A few years ago, I decided to spend more time focusing on my own personal and professional development than I ever had before. I attended more seminars. I took more courses and certifications. I invested in my own professional coach. I was able to take off more time with my family than I ever had before. We even bought a cottage on the Northumberland Strait in Nova Scotia, and we spend a great deal of time there throughout the summer and fall each year.

All of this was done during normal revenue-generating time in my business, yet I was still able to significantly increase my business revenues.

I think you will agree with me when I say that performance development makes a huge difference in both your personal and professional lives. Let’s not forget that none of this has to be complex but can be very simple. Consistent tasks performed over time add up to positive results in your personal life or business.

On the road to success, we must repeatedly do things that motivate us and create an impact. Ongoing support is also necessary because it is what drives us to keep moving forward…to grow and to do those things we may not have done because we just didn’t feel like it, or were uncomfortable doing.

Don’t let procrastination, hesitation, or fear stop you from improving your life and hold you back from your success.

Make the decision to start improving your personal and professional lives. Decide right now that you are going to do what it takes to grow personally. Get excited about taking your business or your career to a new level.

Make a commitment to continuous learning. Spend at least one hour every day doing something that nurtures your heart and nourishes your mind.

To your success…

About the Author:

David Mason is president of Mason Performance Development Inc., a Speaker, Trainer, Performance Development Coach, and internationally best-selling author.

By Zig Ziglar

Frequently, we’ve become so pragmatic that we fail to be effective. Years ago the editor of the Dallas Morning News pointed out to the sportswriters that “Bill” was not a suitable substitute for “William,” and “Charlie” was not a suitable substitute for “Charles.”

Taking him literally, one of the sportswriters, in the heyday of Doak Walker of Southern Methodist University, wrote about an important game. In his story he pointed out that in the third quarter Doak Walker had left the game with a “Charles horse.” I think you’ll agree that the story lost some meaning with the use of “Charles.”

Perhaps the ultimate absurdity occurred in an article in a national publication when the writer set up the computer to analyze Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Incidentally, that address contains 362 words and 302 of them are one syllable. It’s simple and direct but powerful and effective.

The computer, however, made some recommendations about how the speech really should have been given. For example, instead of saying, “Four score and seven years,” the computer deemed that approach too wordy and suggested, “Eighty-seven years.” The efficiency in the reduction is obvious, but the loss of effectiveness, power, drama, and passion is even more obvious.

When Lincoln said, “We are engaged in a great civil war,” the computer questioned whether the word great was justified. This despite the fact that our nation suffered 646,392 casualties, including 364,511 deaths. The computer stated that the sentences were too long, and it criticized the statement that we could never forget what happened at Gettysburg as being negative.

I think you’ll agree that eloquence and drama, combined with passion, logic, and common sense, are far more effective in inspiring people to do great things than technical correctness.

Think about it. Knowing their power, use your words carefully. You’ll be a greater contributor to humankind.

Being confrontational has gotten a bad rap. It’s come to be synonymous
with rudeness and arrogant behavior.

Think about it in a different light for a moment.

We’ve all got things in our lives that aren’t quite what we had hoped for.
Things that need to be improved or changed. Sloppy situations.
Personal and professional crises.

Here’s what most people do. They learn to adjust to bad situations.
To cope with them. And, each time they do this, their dreams, their hopes,
their very lives slip away a little bit more.

Confront all problems. All bad situations. All crises.

Be confrontational.

Today I want to share a system that will help you reach your fullest potential in life. This is another skill that needs to be taught to our children so they will grow into great leaders and fantastic adults. This system is called The Antidote Strategy and the main goal is think about and then prevent any negative outcome for the activity you want to accomplish.

Here is how to put The Antidote Strategy to work:

• Identify the possible negative outcome of the challenge.

Let’s face it. A lot of things you could do that might help you become more successful are risky. Let’s say you’ve been working on a new project idea. And to show your boss how creative and innovative you are, you want to present the idea at the company’s next staff meeting. But you’re afraid.

So Step One of The Antidote Strategy is to determine exactly what it is that you are afraid of. Will you feel stupid if your idea is rejected? Will you be disappointed? Will you be embarrassed?

• Create or find a way to prevent that negative result.

Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Do some research. Chances are many other people have struggled with the same type of challenge and have come up with a good way to deal with it.

If your new project idea is ridiculed by your boss and co-workers, brush it off. You really can win people over by being humble - maybe even getting a laugh. So just smile and say something like, “You’re right. I guess that wasn’t one of my brighter ideas. But I’ve got more. You’ll be hearing from me again.”

• No matter how scary the challenge you are faced with, remind yourself that you have nothing to fear. You are prepared. If the worst happens, you have an antidote.

A lack of confidence prevents many people from achieving their full potential and reaching their goals. But with your safety net in place, you’ll have a winning edge - the inner strength to take a chance and boldly “jump off buildings”… because you know you won’t get hurt.

The other day I saw a father talking to his daughter after she finished her karate class. It was easy to see that he loved his daughter and wanted her to do well… but his desire to see her do well was the very thing that made her feel like a failure - like she couldn’t do anything right. The girl looked like she wanted to run off and cry.

Children, more than anything else, want to be loved and appreciated - especially by busy parents. The amount of approval a child gets from her parents is often the measuring stick by which the child gauge how much they are loved. That’s why children often check to see if Mom and Dad are watching…

As grown-ups, we know how important it is for our children to pay attention while they’re in class… to not miss any piece of information that could be critical to their success. As loving parents, we want our children to do well.

And that’s where the mistake is often made - kids, looking up to see if mom and dad are watching, are sometimes met with a scowl and a quick gesture to turn around and pay attention to the instructor, when all they were looking for was a smile and a thumbs up.

Of course, parents would be horrified to learn that they were unintentionally hurting their child — out of concern and love! None of our “Karate Parents” want to see their children’s self esteem dashed.

You see, people (and children especially!) learn much more efficiently and stay more focused when they are praised for doing something right, rather than criticized for doing something wrong. Children will have the confidence to move out of their comfort zone when they know that they are encouraged and free from criticism.

Parents who want to support their children in class will have the most success when giving their child a quick thumbs up and encouraging their child - loving them with their smile!

Making corrections is our second most important job - please leave it up to us!

You see, developing life skills in children is our number one priority and when working with kids, it’s important to “put first things first” - striving for long term benefits, like Black Belt Excellence, a strong self image, respect, courage, modesty, perseverance, and integrity.

Making corrections in the physical side of the Martial Arts (stances, techniques, etc.) is our second most important job. Especially in the beginning!

We were very excited to learn that this “first things first” system also brings about a very positive side effect.

Just think how excited we were when we realized that when we put positive character development first, excellent physical Martial Arts skills followed! When our teachers “put first things first,” the physical skills of the Martial Arts eventually develop to exciting levels!