Children “Reflect” the Values of Their Parents
Denny 11 Jun 2008 | : Parenting Tips
“When looking for faults, use a mirror, not a telescope.”
This is such a great quote that I had to write about as today’s article.
Parents ask me day after day why their child mis-behaves or has such
a bad attitude, or is so disrespectful. Generally, it only takes a minute
or two to figure out the answers to these questions.
All I have to do is listen and watch the parent speak for a little bit, and
then the gates of enlightenment open. In practically every instance, the
parent is role modeling the behavior that they don’t like seeing. And in
the cases where the parent isn’t role modeling the behavior, they are
allowing it which is almost as bad.
If your child is demonstrating a negative behavior, spend the time to
track down where they learned it. There are usually only a couple of
places that come up - school, day care, friends, or PARENTS!
If you are the culprit - knock it off! Make sure you stop modeling
the negative behavior and start modeling the positive one.
Remember, parents have a lot more influence over their children then
any other person or program. I get parents asking me all of the time
to help “fix” their child and they are surprised when I point this out.
“I am going to work with your child for 1 and 1/2 hours each week to
improve their skills. They are with you the rest of the time. Who has
more influence over their behaviors?”
I may have better tools, but time is the greatest tool you can utilize.
So get to it! Start using that mirror to find those negative habits and
stop using the telescope to assign the blame someplace else.
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