Every parent, at one time or another, has asked their children to stop playing and come do something else, whether it’s cleaning up, eating dinner, or going to karate class. And every parent has experienced the resistance a child can raise when asked to change activities.

You see, there is one source which drives children’s life management skills - Instant Gratification. Children are so caught up in what they are doing - right now - that they are unable to realize that anything else matters.

If it was up to them, kids wouldn’t do anything except those things that are fun and exciting to them.

Now, as adults, we all know that there are other things which exist and matter. We have learned that instant gratification is no way to determine the path of our lives (except for some adults who seem to be stuck in “terminal childhood!).

I personally know two adults who illustrate this point. The first was fortunate to have parents who played an active role in his character development. They helped to mold his future, and were involved with his responsibilities, such as homework, youth groups, and other activities. They taught him to handle these responsibilities effectively.

Of course, like any other child, he did not always want to do his homework. He didn’t always feel like leaving his friends to go to karate, either. But he did go on to earn his Black Belt from “Denny Strecker’s Karate.” Now he is in medical school!

The second person only wanted to do things that were fun. Whenever his parents asked him to do something that he considered boring, he would put up such a fuss that eventually his parents would give in. They were tired of arguing with him. He never wanted to do anything constructive - he’d rather watch TV or play with his friends. By the time he reached Junior High, he and his friends had too much time on their hands and often wound up in trouble. It was all quite fun for him - but obviously, it wasn’t productive at all. In high school, he learned how to skip classes without getting caught - they were too boring for him.

Both of these young men are the same age. The first is excited about the opportunities that lie ahead, and can’t wait to get into the “real world” and help people. The second, on the other hand, is in the “real world” and can’t keep track of how many jobs he’s had. He has no real education, is always short on money, has no plans for the future, and is not happy.

Thinking about these two young men reminds me of what Mark Twain once said: “If you think education is expensive…try ignorance.” Someday, these young men will probably have children… and hopefully they’ll take the time to mold their children’s future.

As concerned parents, we must be able to see things that other parents can’t. We must be able to look at the big picture - and put our children’s desires into perspective. Not only do we need to teach our kids to plan for the future, we also have to do everything we can to keep them focused, active, and productive.

Even parents who do “everything right” won’t necessarily have the “perfect child.” But the “perfect child” never comes from a family who doesn’t take the time to teach, guide, and nurture their child - even forcing them to do the things which are in their best long-term interest.

No doubt, there will be a time when you child will put up a fuss about going to karate. She won’t want to stop what she’s doing - but once she gets to class, she’ll have a great time. You might even ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing. When this happens, ask yourself “Which of these activities is in the best long-term interest of my child?” “Which will help them create a path to success?” “Which will help develop her character?” Once you’ve answered these questions, you’ll know that you made the right decision.